Sometime, in the not so distant future
Textbox: Location: Spidertown, U.S.A
Show Mark sitting at a table, drinking out of a cup that says "OMG, a cup!" on it's side.
There is a textbox next to him that says "Mark Reid, Age 14. Wimp
Mark drops his cup and it spills on his lap.
Alan rushes next to the table.
There is a textbox next to Alan that says "Alan Drake, Age 16. Nerd
Mark: Oh, hey Alan.
Alan: You know my friend Tom, right?
There is a thought bubble next to Mark that shows Carol punching Alan in the face.
Mark: You mean the guy who hangs out with that chick who beats you up on a daily basis?
Alan: Your point?
Mark: Nevermind. Continue.
Alan: Well, his band is looking for a new Rythm Guitarist. Auditions are next week.
Mark: Awesome! So where are they being held?
The Next Week
Mark and Alan are standing in front of a music store called "Next Millennium Music Shop."
Mark: So, why are we here?
Alan: The auditions are being held here.
Mark: What, did they rent this place out or something?
Alan: Nope, the drummer's folks own the place.
Mark: Whoa, really?
Mark and Alan walk inside and they see a bored looking clerk with a scene (A.K.A emo) Haircut.
Alan: Hey, uh where are the band auditions being held?
Clerk: In the back.
Alan: Okay.... where is that?
Clerk: Sigh, Over there.
The two walk into the auditioning area and see one guy being yelled at by the band.
Alan: It looks like you're in luck. I only see one guy auditioning, and it is Frank Vasquez. Everybody hates that guy.
Text Boxes appear next to everyone in the room
Text: Tom Joad, Lead Guitarist and vocals, Age 17, Hates anything and everything that is related to country music
Text: Carol Howard, Drums, Age: 15, Rich
Text: Maria Lopez, Bassist and backup vocals, Age 14, dangerously optimistic
Text: Frank Vasquez, Auditioning, Age 16,The million-dollar a*****e
Tom: Jesus Christ, for the last freakin' time, you are not gonna be the lead guitarist. I already have that filled out! I mean can you even play guitar?
Frank: Well, I have never played before. But if you idiots can play then how hard can it be?
Maria: Well, that's not nice.
Frank: Hey, I'm rich. I don't need to be nice. Now shut up and Prepare to be amazed.
Frank Starts playing the guitar. Crooked, deformed music notes start leaving the guitar and the members of the band starts covering their ears.
Carol: Hey, I'm rich, so I don't have to be nice either. YOU SUCK! Next!
Frank: What!? There is no way you will find anyone better than me!
Alan: And that is where you are wrong. Come on, go up there Mark
Mark walks up in front of the band.
Maria: Hey wait, don't you go to Glendale middle school?
Mark: uh... Yeah.
Maria: Didn't you faint when that pigeon landed on you?
Tom and Carol chuckle a bit. Tom laughs uncontrollably.
Mark: Hey, I'm allergic to birds!
Tom: Sure you are.
Frank: Ha, this guy is a wimp. I don't even think he can play.
Mark: Oh yeah, well watch this.
Mark plays the guitar. Actual music notes start coming out of the guitar. (I usually imagine him covering a Rush song)
Mark: So, am I in?
The band discusses the topic between themselves until they reach an agreement.
Tom: Well it's unanimous. Uh.... (*Points at Mark*) what's your name?
Tom: Mark is the new rhythm guitarist. Frank, get out of here.
Frank: Oh, you will pay. You will all pay.
Frank storms out.
Tom: Okay... uh Mark; here are all of the songs you need to learn (*Holds out some sheets of paper*) and the next practice session is on Saturday.
2 days later, on a Tuesday
Location: A school cafeteria
Mark is sitting at a lunch table with two guys (One of which is reading a book) and a girl.
Text appears at the bottom right hand corner
Text: Location: Glendale Middle School Cafeteria. (Please don't call it Jr. High, it's just silly.) Time: Lunch period.
Mark: Hey, What's next period?
Text boxes appear next to each person sitting next to Mark.
Text: William Grant, Age 14, Always chasing after the Almighty dollar
Text (Next to the guy who's reading): Kevin Sullivan, Age 14. spends too much time reading
Text: Elliot Klein, Age 14, She has a guy's name.
Kevin (Without taking his eyes off the book.): English.
Elliot: What are you reading anyway?
Kevin: Scott Pilgrim VS. The Universe
Elliot: That looks like a girl's book.
William: Well, I guess this is Kevin's way of coming out of the closet.
Kevin: Really? You're really going to make a gay joke?
Maria (The Bassist) runs up to the table looking all panicked.
Maria: Mark, something bad is about to happen.
William: Oooh, Mark has a girlfriend.
Mark: What!? No, she's not my girlfriend!
Mark: No really, she's just in that band I joined!
Maria: Mark, this is really important! That Frank kid-
The bell rings. Kevin, Elliot, and William start walking to the next class.
Kevin: Mark, hurry up! You don't want the English teacher to lecture you to death about responsibility again, do you?
Mark: Shoot. Sorry Maria, I've got to go.
Maria: But ---
Mark runs off and catches up to his friends in the hallway. (Show a poster in the background that says "Public speaking classes this Friday with special guest speaker, T-Pain.")
William: Well, this comic already looks like a Scott Pilgrim ripoff. How can it get any worse?
Mark: Just give it some time, maybe the writer will give it it's own twist.
Elliot and Kevin look at Mark and William weirdly.
Elliot and Kevin: What are you talking about?
Mark: Oh, it's a small joke about how me and William are the only ones who know that we are in a -
William: I don't think you need to explain this to them. They probably won't get it anyway.
The 4 walk into the English room and take their seats. There is a muscle-bound guy wearing a fedora writing the words "Mr. Hogan" on the front board.
Guy: Listen up class, unless you are too stupid to read, you'd know that I am your substitute teacher, Mr. Hogan.
William: Mr. Hogan? What is you're first name Hulk or something?
Everybody stares at William as if he was on his deathbed.
Hogan: Oh, so you're a funny guy, huh? Well do you know what I do to class clowns?
William: Write an angry letter?
Hogan grabs William by his shirt collar and throws him at the front board
Kevin: Jesus Christ!
Hogan: Got any more jokes?
William: N-No sir.
Hogan: I thought so. Now GET BACK TO YOUR SEAT!!!
William hurries back to his seat
1 Terrifying class period later
Everyone is walking out of the class
Elliot: Well, that sucked.
Kevin: The teacher's a friggin' psycho!
William: Tell me about it.
Mark: I hope we don't have to see that guy ever again.
Mr. Hogan: Mark Reid,
Mark: Oh no.
Hogan: I'd like to have a word with you. NOW!
William: Heh heh, Sorry mark, see you in hell!
Kevin: Dude, you are going to get your butt kicked.
Elliot: You two do know you're not funny, right?
Mark walks back into the English room (Or should I say tomb)
Mark: Uh... you wanted to see me sir?
Hogan: Heh, this is going to be the easiest $2,500 I ever made.
Meanwhile outside of the school
Mark comes crashing through the window.
Mark (still on the ground): Ow, what are you doing?
Hogan: That's not going to be important in about 2 seconds.
Hogan is about to stomp Mark's head off, when Tom charges into Hogan, knocking him to the ground.
Mark: Tom? What's going on here?
Hogan (while getting up): You're going to pay for that.
Tom: Mark, I'll explain this later.
Hogan swings at Tom, but Tom dodges it and roundhouse kicks Hogan hard enough to send him flying into a stop sign.
Hogan is K.O'd.
Tom: If he does not get up anytime soon, he'll vaporise and turn into XP.
Mark: What? What are you talking about?
Tom: Well Mark, welcome to the video game-like world of street fighting.
Mark: Street fighting? Y-you know what, forget about it. Why did that guy just attack me?
Tom: Remember Frank Vasquez?
Tom: It turns out he put out an advertisement saying he would pay anyone who successfully kills each member of the band. That man who nearly killed you was just the first of many.
Mark: Wait, did you say -
Tom: Yes Mark, I said kill.
Mark: You know what; I don't want to be in the band anymore.
Tom: It's too late. Who knows how many people saw the ad. All we can do now is fight off anyone who attacks us and hope for the best.
Mark: But I don't know how to fight.
Tom: What!? Didn't you take karate classes when you were a kid or something?
Mark: Yeah... I failed those.
Tom: Oh Jesus Christ. Just wait until band practice on Saturday and me and the rest of the band will try to teach you the basics.
Mark: Why can't you teach me how to fight right now? There's no way i can make it to Saturday if people are trying to kill me every 5 minutes.
Tom: Well then run. you're good at that right?
Tom: You have got to be kidding me.