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Sometime, in the not so distant future

Textbox: Location: Spidertown, U.S.A

Show Mark sitting at a table, drinking out of a cup that says "OMG, a cup!" on it's side.

There is a textbox next to him that says "Mark Reid, Age 14. Wimp

Voice: MARK!

Mark drops his cup and it spills on his lap.

Mark: Shoot.

Alan rushes next to the table.

There is a textbox next to Alan that says "Alan Drake, Age 16. Nerd

Mark: Oh, hey Alan.

Alan: You know my friend Tom, right?

There is a thought bubble next to Mark that shows Carol punching Alan in the face.

Mark: You mean the guy who hangs out with that chick who beats you up on a daily basis?

Alan: Your point?

Mark: Nevermind. Continue.

Alan: Well, his band is looking for a new Rythm Guitarist. Auditions are next week.

Mark: Awesome! So where are they being held?

The Next Week

Mark and Alan are standing in front of a music store called "Next Millennium Music Shop."

Mark: So, why are we here?

Alan: The auditions are being held here.

Mark: What, did they rent this place out or something?

Alan: Nope, the drummer's folks own the place.

Mark: Whoa, really?

Mark and Alan walk inside and they see a bored looking clerk with a scene (A.K.A emo) Haircut.

Alan: Hey, uh where are the band auditions being held?

Clerk: In the back.

Alan: Okay....  where is that?

Clerk: Sigh, Over there.

Alan: Thanks.

The two walk into the auditioning area and see one guy being yelled at by the band.

Alan: It looks like you're in luck. I only see one guy auditioning, and it is Frank Vasquez. Everybody hates that guy.

Text Boxes appear next to everyone in the room

Text: Tom Joad, Lead Guitarist and vocals, Age 17, Hates anything and everything that is related to country music

Text: Carol Howard, Drums, Age: 15, Rich

Text: Maria Lopez, Bassist and backup vocals, Age 14, dangerously optimistic

Text: Frank Vasquez, Auditioning, Age 16,The million-dollar a*****e

Tom: Jesus Christ, for the last freakin' time, you are not gonna be the lead guitarist. I already have that filled out! I mean can you even play guitar?

Frank: Well, I have never played before. But if you idiots can play then how hard can it be?

Maria: Well, that's not nice.

Frank: Hey, I'm rich. I don't need to be nice. Now shut up and Prepare to be amazed.

Frank Starts playing the guitar. Crooked, deformed music notes start leaving the guitar and the members of the band starts covering their ears.

Carol: Hey, I'm rich, so I don't have to be nice either. YOU SUCK! Next!

Frank: What!? There is no way you will find anyone better than me!

Alan: And that is where you are wrong. Come on, go up there Mark

Mark walks up in front of the band.

Maria: Hey wait, don't you go to Glendale middle school?

Mark: uh... Yeah.

Maria: Didn't you faint when that pigeon landed on you?

Tom and Carol chuckle a bit. Tom laughs uncontrollably.

Mark: Hey, I'm allergic to birds!

Tom: Sure you are.

Frank: Ha, this guy is a wimp. I don't even think he can play.

Mark: Oh yeah, well watch this.

Mark plays the guitar. Actual music notes start coming out of the guitar. (I usually imagine him covering a Rush song)

Mark: So, am I in?

The band discusses the topic between themselves until they reach an agreement.

Tom: Well it's unanimous. Uh.... (*Points at Mark*) what's your name?

Mark: Mark.

Tom: Mark is the new rhythm guitarist. Frank, get out of here.

Frank: Oh, you will pay. You will all pay.

Frank storms out.

Tom: Okay... uh Mark; here are all of the songs you need to learn (*Holds out some sheets of paper*) and the next practice session is on Saturday.

2 days later, on a Tuesday

Location: A school cafeteria

Mark is sitting at a lunch table with two guys (One of which is reading a book) and a girl.

Text appears at the bottom right hand corner

Text: Location: Glendale Middle School Cafeteria. (Please don't call it Jr. High, it's just silly.) Time: Lunch period.

Mark: Hey, What's next period?

Text boxes appear next to each person sitting next to Mark.

Text: William Grant, Age 14, Always chasing after the Almighty dollar

Text (Next to the guy who's reading): Kevin Sullivan, Age 14. spends too much time reading

Text: Elliot Klein, Age 14, She has a guy's name.

Kevin (Without taking his eyes off the book.): English.

Elliot: What are you reading anyway?

Kevin: Scott Pilgrim VS. The Universe

Elliot: That looks like a girl's book.

William: Well, I guess this is Kevin's way of coming out of the closet.

Kevin: Really? You're really going to make a gay joke?

Maria (The Bassist) runs up to the table looking all panicked.

Maria: Mark, something bad is about to happen.

William: Oooh, Mark has a girlfriend.

Mark: What!? No, she's not my girlfriend!

William: Riiight.

Mark: No really, she's just in that band I joined!

Maria: Mark, this is really important! That Frank kid-

The bell rings. Kevin, Elliot, and William start walking to the next class.

Kevin: Mark, hurry up! You don't want the English teacher to lecture you to death about responsibility again, do you?

Mark: Shoot. Sorry Maria, I've got to go.

Maria: But ---

Mark runs off and catches up to his friends in the hallway. (Show a poster in the background that says "Public speaking classes this Friday with special guest speaker, T-Pain.")

William: Well, this comic already looks like a Scott Pilgrim ripoff. How can it get any worse?

Mark: Just give it some time, maybe the writer will give it it's own twist.

Elliot and Kevin look at Mark and William weirdly.

Elliot and Kevin: What are you talking about?

Mark: Oh, it's a small joke about how me and William are the only ones who know that we are in a -

William: I don't think you need to explain this to them. They probably won't get it anyway.

The 4 walk into the English room and take their seats. There is a muscle-bound guy wearing a fedora writing the words "Mr. Hogan" on the front board.

Guy: Listen up class, unless you are too stupid to read, you'd know that I am your substitute teacher, Mr. Hogan.

William: Mr. Hogan? What is you're first name Hulk or something?

Everybody stares at William as if he was on his deathbed.

Hogan: Oh, so you're a funny guy, huh? Well do you know what I do to class clowns?

William: Write an angry letter?

Hogan grabs William by his shirt collar and throws him at the front board

Kevin: Jesus Christ!

Hogan: Got any more jokes?

William: N-No sir.

Hogan: I thought so. Now GET BACK TO YOUR SEAT!!!

William hurries back to his seat

1 Terrifying class period later

Everyone is walking out of the class

Elliot: Well, that sucked.

Kevin: The teacher's a friggin' psycho!

William: Tell me about it.

Mark: I hope we don't have to see that guy ever again.

Mr. Hogan: Mark Reid,

Mark: Oh no.

Hogan: I'd like to have a word with you. NOW!

William: Heh heh, Sorry mark, see you in hell!

Kevin: Dude, you are going to get your butt kicked.

Elliot: You two do know you're not funny, right?

Mark walks back into the English room (Or should I say tomb)

Mark: Uh... you wanted to see me sir?

Hogan: Heh, this is going to be the easiest $2,500 I ever made.

Mark: What?

Meanwhile outside of the school

Mark comes crashing through the window.

Mark (still on the ground): Ow, what are you doing?

Hogan: That's not going to be important in about 2 seconds.

Hogan is about to stomp Mark's head off, when Tom charges into Hogan, knocking him to the ground.

Mark: Tom? What's going on here?

Hogan (while getting up): You're going to pay for that.

Tom: Mark, I'll explain this later.

Hogan swings at Tom, but Tom dodges it and roundhouse kicks Hogan hard enough to send him flying into a stop sign.

Hogan is K.O'd.

Tom: If he does not get up anytime soon, he'll vaporise and turn into XP.

Mark: What? What are you talking about?

Tom: Well Mark, welcome to the video game-like world of street fighting.

Mark: Street fighting? Y-you know what, forget about it. Why did that guy just attack me?

Tom: Remember Frank Vasquez?

Mark: Yeah.

Tom: It turns out he put out an advertisement saying he would pay anyone who successfully kills each member of the band. That man who nearly killed you was just the first of many.

Mark: Wait, did you say -

Tom: Yes Mark, I said kill.

Mark: You know what; I don't want to be in the band anymore.

Tom: It's too late. Who knows how many people saw the ad. All we can do now is fight off anyone who attacks us and hope for the best.

Mark: But I don't know how to fight.

Tom: What!? Didn't you take karate classes when you were a kid or something?

Mark: Yeah... I failed those.

Tom: Oh Jesus Christ. Just wait until band practice on Saturday and me and the rest of the band will try to teach you the basics.

Mark: Why can't you teach me how to fight right now? There's no way i can make it to Saturday if people are trying to kill me every 5 minutes.

Tom: Well then run. you're good at that right?

Mark: Uh...

Tom: You have got to be kidding me.
Well, this is the first comic That I've ever written, so please leave feedback.

Plot Summary: Punkrock'd tells the story of a 14 year old wimp named Mark Reid, who has recently auditioned for a rock band, and made the part. Problem is, he beat out a bratty rich kid named Frank Vasquez, who, out of pure anger, put out an advertisement claiming that he will pay a large sum of cash for the deaths of each band member. Now Mark, along with his friends and band-mates, must fight for their lives in the video-game like world they live in, in a comic that will have/parody/reference everything from bleach to ghostbusters to stone sour, and everything between. (Note: chapter 1 isn't really where the action picks up. Things will get more exciting however in chapter 2 -> [link] )

Character Bios:

Mark Reid: Age 14. Your average Middle school wimp, who has never needed to learn to fight.... until now.He is the rythm guitarist of the band and is the weakest main character, He is scrawny and has short, yet spiky hair (similar to Charlie Kelly's haircut from It's always sunny in philadelphia), and constanty wears a red shirt that says "Rush - 2112"

Tom Joad: Age 17. The leader of the group who probably takes his job too seriously. He is the strongest main character and the Lead Guitarist/vocals of the band. he has shoulder length black hair, a slight beard (Thanks to a sketch by artist :iconkz-ombie: KZ-ombie)and scars going across his face. Wears a black shirt that has the nine inch nails logo.

Carol Howard: age 15. The second strongest main character and the drummer of the band. She is rather sarcastic and mean spirited (think emo-ish.) she has long blond hair that covers one eye, and wears a brown shirt that says "Come What(Ever) May"

Maria Lopez: Age 14. The 4th strongest main character and the bassist of the band. She is overly optimistic, and oblivious to the situation at certain times. Has short-ish (shoulder length, maybe longer) white hair with a black streak going across the middle.

Alan Drake: Age 16. Mark's nerd friend since elementary school and 3rd strongest main character. He has short, matted down reddish-brown hair, and glasses. Also, he's not part of the band, but still an important character in story.

(*EDIT*) I Found an artist for the comic (~KokoroJunnaya), but she made a rule, "No cursing in the freakin' comic". So There goes about 10% of my jokes. Oh well. Anyways, here is an edited version of the first chapter with all of the language removed, and some of the dialouge and action sequences changed to make it funnier and less scot pilgrim Ripoffy.
Add a Comment:
CarlaJamz Featured By Owner Apr 7, 2011  Hobbyist General Artist
Its a cool story. Nice idea with the killing and all that. I like your formating is simple. Creative. Send me a link to chap 2 when your done. Its just heating up!
angelStained Featured By Owner Mar 20, 2011   Writer
I'd suggest you use some formatting (bold, underlining) to differentiate the different parts of the script- the dialogue, actions, etc. Or you can use blockquote. Is this in a series or a one-shot?

I think you could include more characterization too.
Gringoamericano Featured By Owner Mar 21, 2011  Hobbyist Writer
Wow... first time I've gotten feedback based on formatting.....Don't exactly know what characterization means though, or blockquote. And this is part of a series that is currently up in the air until I can figure out what'll happen next.....and find an artist.
Echo-Cafe Featured By Owner Mar 20, 2011  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
Lol english tomb great job with the characters. It feels like an episode of heroes or a superhero show "Carol Howard, Drums, Age: 15, Rich" Nice work
adventwinter Featured By Owner Mar 18, 2011  Hobbyist General Artist
It's original, but I just don't see this being manga material.
froggfan09 Featured By Owner Mar 14, 2011  Hobbyist Photographer
ooh scott pilgrim :) nice nice~!
litttle-princess Featured By Owner Mar 13, 2011  Professional Digital Artist
nice =]
RockerByBaby Featured By Owner Mar 13, 2011
You're good @ comics, you've made it yours. :love: Fitting title to go with the captivating flow of it.
ParadoxicalBubble Featured By Owner Feb 26, 2011
Lol I think this should be drawn XD I'd totally like to see this drawn.
Lime-Street Featured By Owner Feb 25, 2011  Hobbyist Photographer
I'm afraid I'm not much of a writer or know too much about literature... but I liked it! I'm not sure that means much since I can't really offer any advice or critiques
AmethystWinds Featured By Owner Feb 19, 2011
Not bad - I like the concept a lot. :) This seems rather promising. I would say more, but I am pretty limited in what "expertise" I have with comics and manga.

My one suggestion is to make this more your own - possess it more and bend it into your own creation further. As the others have said, you don't want to get in trouble with some mad copyright holder. :D
Blue3blurr Featured By Owner Feb 4, 2011
You will find in the world of creative property that there are influences, allusions, and copyright infringement. You flirt dangerously with the latter.

My lame-brained advise is to not get sued. Dump the band, keep the "versus" mentality, dump the "point system", and keep the odd characters.

I would put him in a school club or something and then summon Armageddon. I know that I would pay money for a comic displaying the chess team fighting for its life in a battle royal over a stupid bet.
Xite91 Featured By Owner Feb 12, 2011  Professional Digital Artist
I agree with him, I haven't read/seen scott pilgrim and I could tell how influenced it was by it. I do like a lot of what you're doing with the concept, and I can practically see the exact art style you're trying to get across :)
UGotRektHard Featured By Owner Feb 4, 2011
Wow! I can't believe I read the whole thing lol It's really descriptive for a comic script, plus I like how it wasn't a big block of text like the usual ones x.x would've driven me insane. Definitely going to be an interesting comic! Hope your readers will love it after you guys publish it!
mejinzs Featured By Owner Feb 4, 2011
not a bad start, i would suggest two things however:
A) mark where you thing a page should end or begin. this helps the artist a lot when visualizing what a page will look like. and
B)be more desciptive, for instance "The walk up the the very bored looking clerk with emo hair chewing bubble gum" or the like. interesting idea though
mejinzs Featured By Owner Feb 4, 2011
oh and if you need any help just ask...
solastri Featured By Owner Jan 23, 2011
That reads very well, reminds me a lot of Scott Pilgrim vs. The World. I am going to assume you got some influence from the comic since you do reference it :D.

The dialogue is good and the characters are believable, I do recommend adding a bit more unique twist to it though. Getting inspiration from things that have been done before is great, but using an identical style is going to seem like just that. All in all, you're off to a great start!
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Submitted on
January 23, 2011
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